Posted in personal development, Uncategorized

Retreat: Go within for lasting change.


What life lesson or lessons do you keep repeating? Do you keep dating the same kind of person, whether he or she is emotionally absent or abusive towards you? Are you always dieting, or dealing with the ups and downs of weight loss and weight gain, never really having long lasting change? Are you struggling with healthy eating versus and being on a diet? Healthy eating is a lifestyle instead of limiting yourself from foods for a certain amount of time. Are you struggling with quitting smoking, checking your blood sugars consistently, or any other desired goal?

If we keep doing something repeatedly, despite knowing that the behavior is not helping us and instead is causing more harm, we need to retreat inside to get to the root cause of our behavior. Until we get to the root cause of our behavior, we will keep repeating the same behavior and/or pick up other negative behaviors.

Some things to consider:

1. Become more aware of your behavior. Spend time with yourself (i.e. meditation) and/or ask loved ones what they notice about your behavior (consequences of your behavior, when you do it, where you do it, and any other cues). Note the when, where, how you do something, and eventually the why will surface as you start seeing a pattern in your behavior. I believe that when we are truthful with ourselves and ask the right questions, we will eventually get the right answers.

2. Identify and be real about what type of help you will need to master yourself and diminishing unhealthy behaviors.

3. Be patient with yourself. Changing a behavior is a process. You did not pick up the behavior overnight.

4. Work on one behavior at a time. Sometimes we get so excited by change and get caught up in the emotions, we want to tackle anything and everything.

5. Positively reward yourself throughout the process. Be creative in your reward and decrease your temptation to go back to negative behavior (read a book, find a mentor, join a support group, find and cook a healthy recipe, etc.)

Heal within,


Posted in personal development, Uncategorized

Enthusiasm: Gratitude


Enthusiasm about life is what keeps me going in the mist of growing pains. I am so thankful for life and the opportunities to be the best that I can be.

I believe that we all have missions here on earth. We are here to serve each other, and it is easy to become distracted by all the drama. However, it takes great character, integrity, and moral/ethical strength to look past all the drama and see the similarities that we all have and not focus so much on the differences. Yes. we are all unique, and that is one out of a million plus things that makes life so interesting.

You never know how long you will be here on earth.


Posted in personal development, Uncategorized

Elicit action versus inaction: What is the real issue?


Image result for conviction quotes

What inspires some to achieve their goals and others to quit and not achieve their stated goals is what I continue to face daily.  We are all different, yet, I believe we are all equipped with what we need to live our best life.

1. Is it because it is not the right time or “life” got in the way?  I have had people to divorce, bury a loved one, be diagnosed with cancer and still feel compelled to finish what they started. Until whatever you are trying to achieve is a priority, it will not be a priority.

2. Is it because family and/or friends are not supportive? I am sure you heard of stories when friends laughed at someone’s idea. Take Walt Disney and the creation of Disneyland.  If Walt Disney  had listened to “that idea is impossible”, would families get to enjoy Disneyland and Disney World?
3. Is it because work is so stressful, and the person does not have time to work on a paper or study for a test? Or is it more about balancing time and making their studies a priority? There have been stories of single mothers, or mothers who work a full-time job and in supervisory and managerial roles seek higher education to open up doors. Some of these mothers had young children at the time  (under age 5) and utilized the resources they had to achieve their goals. Many claim that their children were their inspiration or wanting a “better” job.
4. Is it more about time management and not having the time to accomplish their goals? We all have 24 hours in a day.  It is what we do with the time (Joseph Ferrari PhD, Procrastination ). I am guilty of saying “time got away from me.” Is it more about procrastination or just not wanting to do whatever it is you should do? or the lack of belief in oneself to accomplish set goals/dreams? I will usually remind myself that now that I know better, the amount of time I have should not be an excuse for not achieving my goals. Mom would always tell me that “if you really want to do something, you will”.
I have to catch myself and think it is not time’s fault. I am making excuses for not getting the job done, lack belief in myself, and the confidence to carry out the task, or do I really want to do whatever it is.  Why or why not, I might ask?
5. Is it about that they do not have the resources or know people to help them achieve their goals? Did you research resources or mentors to help you achieve your goals? Are you saying that your success is dependent on what others do for you? That you do not have the skills or resources to get things done? What are the right questions you need to ask?  How many times was Jack Canfield’s Chicken Soup for the Soul rejected? You probably know Sean John Comb’s (Puff Daddy’) rise to fame and that he worked as an intern at Uptown Records.
6. Is it because they didn’t understand the product or task at hand? Well, then I ask did the person seek help? The internet is exploding with information, and usually resources are made known by an organization you want to work for. I have heard of individuals being persistent and not stopping until their question was answered or they got what they want via determination and hard work.  Mothers have applied for jobs with very little experience and have also become entrepreneurs.
7. Is it because the person is not ready? A mother may not be ready to be a single parent; however, she may be determined to care for her offspring regardless of the father’s involvement.  I know.  I have been there. A person may not be ready to take a test or exam, but feel like its time and that he or she has studied enough.

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” Jim Rohn

8. Is it because of fear? Many individuals may have been fearful to check their blood sugar, yet they summoned the courage to do so because they wanted to live a better quality of health or did not want to end up like a relative who may have had to have both legs amputated.
9. Is it because no one showed you how? Many inventions were made due to pure curiosity, desire to change the world, and hard work. (Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Edison, etc.)
10. Is it because that person was tired or hungry? How many times have you gone hours without eating or sleeping working on your goals (paper, studying for a test, doing something for someone else)  until it dawned on you your last meal or the current time?
11. Is it because you are not the right color, religion, or an eloquent speaker, too tall, skinny, overweight, from the wrong neighborhood, etc. The changes you make should be for you and not for others. We all have our own journey and have special gifts, talents, and skills. Why are you not accepted as you are? Is it more about the other person’s judgement of you than who you truly are?
12. Is it because you do not have the money to do what you want to do (i.e. start a business)? What about “rags to riches”? What about Starbuck’s CEO Howard Schultz (1987), Oprah Winfrey at the age of 19 becoming the first African American correspondent in Nashville and moving to Chicago to work for an AM show which eventually became the Oprah Winfrey show (1983)?, Ralph Lauren?, and others?

There are so many reasons that can be thought of why we do not achieve our goals. Until we get to the root of our behavior, how do we expect to achieve our goals? What do you believe about yourself and what you can accomplish?  Are you confident in your abilities to get things done when you should?