Posted in COVID 19, Motherhood, November 2020, Pacific Coast Mom, parenting, Presidential Election 2020, purpose

Is it possible our next President, House of Representatives, Senators, and other officers?

To work together for a common cause, instead of attacking other. One major principle I learned in nursing school is to focus on the patient. Egos need to take a back seat to maximize resources and come together for the greater good of the world. Focus on the people you serve–all people. Treat others as you would your loved ones. Sometimes, we can get caught up in being right instead of looking at possible right solutions. If people are suffering, what can we do to lighten the load? One of the greatest commandments is to love others as God loves us (John 13:34. If we say we love God and hate our brother, then we are not being honest. (1 John 14:19-21). Do nothing in rivalry or conceit, but in humility (Philippians 2:3-4).

To have a role model president and others in leadership positions. My grandfather taught my mother the importance of accepting people who do not look like you. My mother went on to teach us the same principle, and now I tell the same with my children. One of the greatest commandments is to love one another. 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 gives us more details regarding this trait. “Love does not boast nor dishonor others.” When we call others outside of their name or the name they prefer to be called, we are dishonoring them. Hateful words do not show me a powerful person. I see hurt, and someone calling for help.

To desire discernment and share accurate, knowledge, insight, and wisdom. When I feel and see that you care, regardless of your defining characteristics, I am more likely to listen. (The Book of Proverbs and Psalm 111, Romans 12:2, 1 John 4:1, James 1:5)

To understand that we are all connected–all shades of black, brown, white, and everything else in between. God made us all in His image (Genesis 1:27), not just a specific color, language, shape, and anything else that is often used to divide the human race. When I look at my surroundings (humans, plants, trees, cars, houses, dogs, etc.), I see a variety of colors, shapes, and the beautiful presence of God. God is everywhere and in everything.

To practice self-control (Galatians 5:22-23, Proverbs 25:28). When we are children, we behave as children. We hold ourselves to higher standards. There are multiple ways to get our message across using grace and mercy. No one is perfect. Belittling, blaming, criticizing, and judging others are ways of division instead of peace. Just because we can do something does not mean that we should.

To work with other experts. Active listening is a component of humility. No one knows everything. Work with people instead of against. There is no contest that is more important than preserving life. COVID -19 does not care about egos. The virus seeks a body to inhabit not an ego.

To mean what we say and say what we mean—at least most of the time. Faith is not by just words but actions. Own up to your learning experiences is one of the best ways to confirm that you are human. Denial is a powerful blinding tool to the truth. We are all teachers and students. When we share information, take the time to do as much research as possible.

To forgive. Forgiveness is necessary to move on and to lead a country. Uncontrolled anger/rage cannot produce peace. There is enough conflict in the world already. Be the one who desires and strives for peace for all. (Ephesians 4:32)

Even if the Bible is not your go-to-source for how to treat others, what about moral virtues such as compassion, courage, empathy, grace, hope, humility, kindness, patience, respect?

It takes courage to admit your errors, to do what’s right regardless of possible external rewards from others, to speak the truth, and to promote inclusion instead of separation. It takes courage to listen to others when you do not know the answer. It takes courage to admit that you do not have the answer, yet, you have resources to help you get the answer.

We become what we teach to others. Often, we must ask ourselves, what are we teaching others with our actions and words.

Often, my mother would say “You can fix your mouth to say anything and “Don’t talk me to death.”

Is it possible?

Timika

Posted in Bullying, Columbus Mom, Destiny, Graceful, Gratitude, mother's wisdom, Ohio mom, Truth, Wisdom

How did I avoid an argument with my spouse?

Argument

I caught myself yesterday after speaking words that I knew would cause an argument. I was finishing up laundry from our recent vacation, and my spouse found more of his clothes that needed washing. I wanted to have laundry done by a certain time Friday morning, and I began feeling a little frustrated that there were more clothes that needed to be washed. If I had continued on the path I was on with feeling delayed and frustrated, and that I had all of the clothes that needed to be washed in the laudry room, and he did not, an argument with my spouse would have followed. I soon found out, after I decided to change my path, that I, too, had more clothes that needed to be washed.

An argument takes more than one person. I am in control of my thoughts and the words I speak. They can be words of love or words that come from anger, jealousy, frustration, or any other negative emotion/feeling. One of my favorite quotes by Napoleon Hill is “Direct your thoughts, control your emotions, and ordain your destiny.” So, I needed to change my thoughts, control my frustration, and pick a path in alignment with who I want to be.

Another quote that I was reminded on Friday is from the Book of Mathew, and it comes come :
Matthew 7: 4 &5 :How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while there is still a beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Besides checking to see what mood or state I am in before I speak, here are the steps I I used to avoid an argument with my spouse yesterday:

1. Removed myself from where were I was. I left out of the laundry room and decided to be still and realized that what I had said was not called for. I could clearly see what he was doing, so I did not need to ask the question.
So, go to another room that allows you to clear your mind and reduce the risk of saying something else to ignite the fire of an argument? Removing myself from the room helped me to think about what I just said and what to say next.

2. Assessed my intention for the words I spoke? Why did I just say what I said? I was trying to complete all of our laundry early Friday morning, so that I could enjoy the rest of the day and do other things. I felt like he was putting me off schedule. I played a part in being off schedule by not communicating properly my intentions. Never did I communicate to my spouse that I was doing laundry and what color clothes I was washing next. I actually like doing laundry and feel blessed that I can do it myself.

3. Thought about what my spouse was going through. I was not the only person trying to finish something that morning. So, I put myself in the other person’s shoes and started talking about what was bothering him.

4.Kept focused on my goals for how I want my life and my marriage to be. Choose by battles, wisely! I want to live a long healthy vibrant youthful life with the one I love.

Mika