Posted in Columbus Mom, Motherhood, personal development, Transformation

Folly: let go of the pain, there is very little to gain.

Folly

“Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you. However, if it taught you to hold onto grudges, seek revenge, not forgive or show compassion, to categorize people as good or bad, to distrust and be guarded with your feelings then you didn’t learn a thing. God doesn’t bring you lessons to close your heart. He brings you lessons to open it, by developing compassion, learning to listen, seeking to understand instead of speculating, practicing empathy and developing conflict resolution through communication. If he brought you perfect people, how would you ever learn to spiritually evolve?”
― Shannon L. Alder

I believe the above quote says it all. Change your perspective about your journey, and you change your thoughts and your actions. For example, Brian Tracy, a motivational speaker and self-development author, encourages individuals to believe that the universe conspires to help us instead of hurting us. We choose our thoughts; we choose our behaviors.

Heal within,

Timika

Posted in Columbus Mom, mother's wisdom, Motherhood, Ohio mom, Transformation, Truth

Filthy and my priorities

Filthy

When others would tell me that their house was filthy because they have been so busy at work, I would wonder how could they function with a messy house, and then I remembered that everyone is not wired the same way. We all have our priorities. I have had some people to tell me that they function better with clutter. Again….we are wired differently,

I used to be obsessed with keeping a clean and organized house. It is frustrating to not be able to find something when I need it. Plus, cleaning up was and still is my release…my form of meditation. I equate a clean and organized house with a clear and focused mind. When everything else around me is in place, I feel in place. I used to allow myself to get distracted by clutter and would quickly stop what I was doing to go clean. This method was counterproductive…. There is more to life than just keeping a clean and organized home. Nowadays, I write more to help clear my mind instead of cleaning more.

Now, that I am a mother, organizing my time is a must. I do my best to avoid a filthy home; however, I am not as obsessed with keeping my home clean. Over the past year, I decided to not spend a great deal of my day cleaning up. So, there may be a few dirty dishes left in the sink overnight or toys left in the living room. I have learned to relax a bit when it comes to cleaning up; yet, I still have my limits. I am also better at organizing my time to make time for other things such as reading, writing etc. I have learned that I need balance in my life. Keeping a clean and organized home is still a priority, and so is enjoying my life and making time for loved ones and myself.

For procrastinators or students having problems focusing on a task, many educators, including myself, will encourage students to declutter their surroundings to help them focus better and complete their task. Typically, if your mind is on 20 different things, your actions will reflect your thoughts. If a student has one project on his or her desk, more than likely that’s what he or she will focus on. Decluttering is usually a good tip to help others focus and achieve their goals.

Timika

Posted in Columbus Mom, Motherhood, Ohio mom, Second thoughts

Second Thoughts led me back to my first thought

Second Thoughts

How many times have you ever thought about which action to take the next day…you know….. how you wanted the next day to go, and when that day came, you had second thoughts and decided to do something else? Were you able to come back to your senses before it was too late and followed your first thought or plan of action?
Today went so much smoother because I decided against rushing to go to events. I picked one event to go to and took my time to get there. I spent a bit more time with TLC for me today instead of trying to get several activities done in a small window of time.

I am so glad I decided to clear my mind and think about what would be the best plan of action. My day went a lot smoother, and it was a true win-win for all. I kept my word to do something, my children learned some new information, and I learned about a new educational program geared towards helping children succeed in school. If I had chosen a different scenario, we may have missed the event and the information shared.

Some things I try to remember when making decisions are:

1. Mood-What mood am I in while trying to decide? I was acting like my old self trying to get so much done in a small window of time.
2. Information-How well informed am I about your choices? Do I have enought time to complete the activity?
3. Intention-Why do I want to do what I want to do? I have to remind myself that it is not about the number of activities I can complete; it’s about the quality of the experience. What promises have a I made to myself or others>
4. Resources-What resources do I have or need to help me make my decision.
5. End result- Am I aiming for a Win-win? Who will benefit from my decision/actions?

Having second thoughts led me back to my original thought.
Timika

Posted in Hyperbole, Listen and learn, mother's wisdom, Motherhood, Ohio mom, Transformation, Truth, Wisdom

Hyperbole: Guilty!

Hyperbole

It is interesting that hyperbole is the daily word for today. I have been questioning the worth of hyperboles. Are they necessary? If so, then why?

This past Thursday, I was just sharing with a student how sleep deprived I felt that I was. I admitted that the last time I had some good sleep was before my son was born. As I was sharing that I, too, suffered from a lack of sleep, I questioned why am I agreeing with the need to just sleep my life away? Why am I using the phrase “I could sleep for a long time” when it is not true? Even when I worked nights, years ago, as a staff nurse at a local hospital, I could only sleep for 1-2 hours when I got home. Yes, I was tired, but I did not want to go to sleep during the day. That’s what nights were for. As you probably figured out, I did not work nights for long. There is a time for everything, and my body works well with its “master clock.”

If given the chance today, would I want to sleep my life away? The answer was and still is no, of course. I have so many things I still want to do, and I keep adding activities/events to my bucket list. Honestly, I have been trying to be more mindful of my thoughts and what I say. If I do not mean something, then why say it? It is a waste of energy and a waste of words, yet, I am sure I have used the phrase many times before, especially between the years of 2011-now.

Why do we feel the need to add excessive value to how we feel? With my statement of being tired, acknowledging that I was tired is one thing and to exaggerate is another. Let’s take another hyperbole. “I am so hungry, I can eat a horse.” Can I really? So, why exaggerate? Am I asking for the other person’s permission to go to sleep or to eat? What is my intention for using a hyperbole? To illicit compassion? Money? Food? love? Is it necessary to have others to empathize with me to take me seriously, or did I need the student to feel like she is not alone?

Sometimes when we are going through an ordeal, we think that we are the only one going through something. I usually tell my students they are not alone and can usually share a life changing story without getting to personal. I have to remember that even being quiet and just listening may be what the other person needs at that time especially instead of saying something I know is not true. Does the other person need to know how hungry I am or how sleepy I am? Not necessarily. Constantly feeling the need that one should quantify or quality statements for others to relate does not sound like a healthy habit. I need to change my ways.

I have been aware of another phrase for a very long time and this phrase is “say what you mean and mean what you say.” So, as we constantly evolve, we find out that some of the things we do, the words we say may conflict with something else we believe it or want to believe in. I need to be more true to the phrase “say what you mean and mean what you say” and stop saying things that are not true.

The more one says something, the more one tends to believe it. There is a known link between our beliefs and our actions (self-fulfilling prophecy). Again, as in the example above, I do not need to believe I am so tired. If anything, I need to believe that I am energetic and high on life.

I am guilty of using some hyperboles, and I confess. I need to stop using hyperboles, and just say what I mean, and mean what I say.
Timika
9z

Posted in Motherhood, Ohio mom, Rearrange, Uncategorized

Rearrange my life to keep my sanity?

Rearrange

 

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Albert Einstein

Intellectually, I knew my life needed a change years ago, and it has been a journey! I used to think that once someone became a mother, “that’s it! Your life is over. You don’t have time for anything else.” I am the one who planted those beliefs and have had to dig them up by the roots and throw them away….

I would hear so many mothers talk about how they did not have time for themselves, and honestly, it should not and does not have to be that way. I know some single mothers who managed to earn a college degree or further their career and still raise their children. I know because I was raised by a single mother. Who says that a mother cannot continue to develop her gifts and talents and enjoy doing things for herself and taking time out to replenish her soul?

Two great quotes by Henry Ford will empower you if you let them:

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”
― Henry Ford

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.”
― Henry Ford

In the past, I tried different techniques to help keep me accountable. I tried printing out and posting a schedule I made out using Cozi Family Organizer http://www.cozi.com/. I know the schedule by heart because I have also written it down multiple times, as well. It’s great to use reminders. I realized, though, that my beliefs needed to be dealt with and challenged.

I can honestly say that a recent vacation helped me to clear my head and truly think about things that are truly important to me. I love my family, and I love myself, too. I concluded that:

1. I am the one in charge of my life….my mother would always tell me that and even today, she finds a way to squeeze the reminder in our conversations.

2. Everything does not have to be done today. I need to prioritize and plan for tomorrow…hopefully, I will see another day.

3. My health-physical, mental, emotion, and spiritual, is important as is everyone else.

4. I need to be organized-I function better and able to make the most use of my time. If tasks have a day and time to be completed, then I tend to use my time more efficiently, and many times within the past week, I realize how much free time I have when I am organized.

5. It is better for me to focus on one task at a time until its completion. It’s okay to multitask and know when it is beneficial to multitask and when it is not. I always encourage my students to focus on what needs to be done now or has a timeline. If you have two projects, and one is due in November, and the other in January, don’t delay. Plan to complete the November task, especially if multitasking is not working.

6. It is important to make a to-do list and cross off as I go. Be consistent with scheduled activities, and I will be more efficient.

7. I do not label myself or generalize my actions. I do not like labels, and I believe people will think and act according to their label and get stuck.

8. I make time for the things I have an interest in (cooking and trying out new recipes, listening to music and being more proficient at playing the piano and guitar, sew, paint, make pottery, candles, and lip gloss/lipstick. Things will not get done unless I make them a priority. Continue to develop/explore me.

9. I have to live with the consequences of my behavior, and my consequences can directly or indirectly effect others… My days go a lot better when I have made time for myself.

10. I do not take myself too seriously. Continue to laugh!!