We all have things/events in our life that we look back on that we are not so proud of-whether they happened two years ago or two minutes ago. Whether it is crashing your favorite bike, losing that “perfect job”, failing an exam, falling on center stage in the middle of a show, breaking up with a boyfriend, you want to face your life and walk through the anger, frustration, blame, embarrassment, disappointment, and any other emotions/thoughts you have that do not serve you well. Those emotions/feelings are there for a reason, and you are doing yourself a great service to not run away from them or hold on to them, but face them and let them go. Understand why you feel anger or disappointment. What are you supposed to learn about yourself, and what can you do not to go through that again? Is it part of the root of “not feeling good enough?” Emotions/ feelings we do not address have a way of creeping back in our life, and can cause you to overreact to other circumstances. When you do not reflect on your life lessons and learn from them, you are likely to repeat them. The question then becomes why do you want to learn your lesson again and again and again.
Let how you face disappointments, opposition, and other life events be your teacher. Go inside instead of outside of yourself. Going outside yourself could be things like bullying, getting into physical fights, emotional outbursts, overeating, and not doing those things to keep you healthy. Please know that:
- There are no coincidences. Things happen for a reason.
- We are in control of how we respond. You choose to be happy, sad, joyful, angry, etc. No one can make you react. It is always a choice.
- The past is the past. Quit living in it. What was said two years ago is on the same timeline as what was said two minutes ago….It is in the past!!
- Decide right now who you want to be. Do you want to be someone who reacts to everything that you do not like? You have the ability to change and can do so. It is a choice just as you choose to be angry, bitter, or any other thought, behavior, feeling that does not serve you or others well.
- You cannot make someone be who he or she is not. If he or she is not ready to own up to the truth, then it may be time to let go and move on.
- You are not your past. Do not let anyone tell you differently. If someone keeps reminding you who you used to be, what is in it for him or her ? Everyone has the ability to change. To be better then he or she was before. That is what personal development and growth is all about.
- It take time for some changes to occur. Be patient with yourself. Be your own life coach. What you tell to others to help them, tell it to yourself.
- Find a mentor or coach. There is someone who has been where you are and is willing to help you get you where you are going. You are not alone.
- Always make time for yourself and do things that you enjoy. I believe that everyone has a gift. Nurture your gift and be creative. Expect great things. Expect miraculous things.
- Know your limitations and have standards. Be consistent in who you are. Walk the talk. If you are following the crowd blindly, then you may want to watch out for the cliff ahead….could be a steep one with many regrets.
Once you properly address/reflect/understand your emotions and feelings, you have increased your understanding of yourself, feel lighter, and can address who you truly are. There is so much to living than regrets, grudges, and blaming yourself and others for what you go through. See things as they truly are. Let go and grow.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7